Summer approaches

I am so excited for summer to come! This summer is a pretty important one, I guess, and I'm trying to find an internship, but somehow this and the combination of homework means I spend all my time online looking at interesting things that nevertheless accomplish nothing immediately. For example, yesterday I decided I wanted to learn about the AI in video games, then today I was reviewing web design stuff and looking at tutorials, and then I keep reading articles about "user experience", and then I switched my browser to Safari from Firefox, which I wouldn't have done but Firefox got insanely slow. Safari feels very clean and spartan. I really just want to doodle websites and try and get better at coding them. Then, I signed up for a java class this summer that I found myself getting really excited about, oddly, though the plan's not definite yet. Suddenly I'm becoming really interested in careers involving technology, but of course I am not really doing anything concrete, since speculation is so much easier than action. I think my best route is to keep going with the internship applications, take the class, and if any other plans fail, spend the summer trying to make cool stuff. I am also considering getting a new computer and buying photoshop (or all the adobe stuff at a discounted price), and I continue to ignore my final. 

Most appealing non-homework projects:

-Plan a new collage, come up with theme

-Come up with concept for website, make it

-Try and learn how to make an interactive program (cooler than that one from my other computer science class)

-Write non-personal articles for an informative blog

-Draw new person, clothes, make interactive

Not appealing or a project, exactly, but better than the final:

-Internship cover letters 

Ordinary time-wasting, not productive:

-Scribbly doodles

-Facebook, everything

-Twittering, finding new twitterers to follow

-Reading blogs, saving inspiration pictures

The Ultimate Mix - possibly too tailored to myself?

I just made an mix cd containing a progression of music that expresses exactly what I want to listen to and is enthralling and addicting for my ears. When I listen to it, it makes me feel like I'm at the most peaceful and epic concert where everyone is singing about my feelings without it being awkward or scary; more like they're celebrating or working through them my writing songs about the exact same thing. It's the kind of mix that I'm going to end up listening to so much I can't put any of these songs on any other mix and will start tying them to this summer; which may be uneventful and peaceful but has the potential to be more if I let it.

Tracklisting:
Teenage Fanclub - Planets
Zounds - Demystification
Slender Means - Painless Life
Galaxie 500 - Another Day
Au Pairs - It's Obvious
The Chills - I love my leather jacket
High Voltage Humans - Laser Symphony (Catastrophe)
R.E.M. - Fall on Me
Velocity Girl - For the Record
The Hollies - Bus Stop
The High Violets - Invitation
Cut Chemist - Metrorail Through Space
The Jesus & Mary Chain - April Skies
Pulp - I Spy
Shocking Blue - Never Marry a Railroad Man
Dntel - I'd Like to Know (feat. Lali Puna)
Social Distortion - Footprints on the Ceiling
Hell On Wheels - The Soda
The Indelicates - New Art for the People
Lyndia Lunch - Gloomy Sunday

I brought it to a radio station mix tape swap - I promptly burnt myself a copy after giving it away because I'm so attached to it!

Restoration

Being back home for the summer from college is an odd thing. In some ways I miss the buzz of constant activity and the excitement of having people my age to talk to (anytime! even if you don't want to talk to them!) but there is a certain amount of comfort involved in being semi-reliant on your parents for food, transportation, housing, oh, and love too. The part that makes me nervous and lonely is the amount of change involved in revisiting old places, that inexplicably have memories tied to them despite the fact that you've moved beyond them. Which is what I'm trying to do here - express my thoughts honestly and clearly in a semi-anonymous format that allows me some liberty in what I say and this is my own writing so it doesn't specifically matter how honest I am. I think that full honesty is the best method of articulating your feelings even if it is somewhat painful so I'm going to proceed with the full truth, ahead.

It's been a couple of days since I wrote that last climactic sentence, and I'm not sure of the reason behind that but honestly this over-analytical self-conscious writing is getting grating so I'm going to shift into a more blunt mode. I wish I was anonymous sometimes and am satisfied with the tense curious act of wandering around unknown urban neighborhoods and occasionally dread the familiar. Once something has a memory or a person tied to it, revisiting becomes difficult without tumbling into the persona from before. My eyes are always roving around the landscape, sometimes in order to avoid the eyes of the people around, and so my memories and thoughts become tied to the scenery. Changes in buildings are sometimes more unexpected than changes in people. I guess I take it as a fact that people will change and something about my own stubborn perception of the person fits the changes into the semi-flexible wire frame that is my idea of them. I have myself and the other person to confirm and engage in the reciprocal act of reshaping their identity, while the building has no means of reconciling the changes or assuring me that the changes reflect some hidden dormant nature. Buildings don't like change and appear as helpless disinterested observers of their own disfigurement. But aging and decay are natural processes that the building does embrace halfheartedly or even fully in a sad but resolute way. Restoration should be a peaceful glorious worthwhile process but it doesn't feel that way because it brings the past in an unpleasant and slightly vulgar way that stomps over the building's previous life and graceful end.

The Art of Shopping

I'm visiting home for spring break, and the combination of readily available transportation and parent-provided cash meant a long-due shopping trip or three. When I shop I like to try and hit a variety of stores and balance out more expensive things with much cheaper ones. I had to visit my favorite vintage/consignment shop in Seattle, Le Frock, and found a great-fitting purple and blue vintage dress which will be perfect for spring and work in the fall too. I also got a long black blazer at Atlas that will be great over dresses and jeans. Both were $9. I also got some purple satin ballet flats, a pinkish-red tank top, a pair of jeans, and a soft grey tee. My favorite thing that I'm still shocked I actually got was a soft printed Marc by Marc Jacobs top with ruffles. I also found a splendid tee and islii jacket at nordstrom rack super-discounted. The funny thing is all the items I got seem to coordinate together. Once I get the shopping bug, though, it's hard to stop... I found a great pair of converse online that have a perfect combination of colors. I like converse best with an interesting print, though the cream ones are somewhat appealing and feel less-played out that the darker colors. I'm really drawn to classic looks lately though, and I want to get a pair of vintage black pumps after wearing these ones I have at home which are comfy but the paint is peeling off (they're obviously not real leather), and I want a canvas or leather tote bag but I can't quite find one that I like enough. I'm going to get a pair of keds and hand-paint them for summer, and maybe I'll do more DIY stuff (like a GEEK shirt from Luella). I sewed a skirt out of an old pair of jeans once I liked it enough to wear it, so maybe I can be similarly successful with something else.

Some people hate rainy weather because it stops them from wearing frivolous clothes that can't withstand wetness. There's some logic to this mindset, but I see a better approach to rainy weather. Something about wearing rubber boots (no printed ones please, too infantile. I prefer black rubber with straps on the side) and stomping through puddles, unbroken umbrella over head, gives the illusion of power. Of course there's the whole dishevelment process that ensues when I enter a building - scarf to the side, umbrella down, backpack that I wish was an elegant tote bag on the floor, coat unbuttoned and draped perilously on the chair. There's a guarantee that I'll forget something in the room and not notice until later. But for the one brief second when I unfurl my umbrella and step out of the building, my confidence surges. The best rain is in big droplets that pound onto the ground and that you can feel hit your umbrella. And the worst possible rain-related sensation is a wet pants hem - a cold squirmy feeling by your ankles.

What kind of outfit tells the little drops (or mist/rain - the bane of my existence - it's not REAL rain but it adds plenty of unpleasant chill!) that you're up to the challenge?

• Skinny jeans tucked into solid boots (black, navy, army green, primary colors), stylish coat, bright scarf, graphic tee and comfy cardigan (vintage cardigans are great!).
  
• Bright leggings in your trusty rainboots, funky dress, raincoat (or a coat/umbrella combo - more stylish and drier!)
• Opaque tights, rainboots, bright and swingy skirt, belted tee, all important coat + scarf

I realize that I've sort of undermined my whole "don't dress in frivolous outfits in the rain!" rant - but the point remains - these outfits can be warm (just add creative layering). Oh, and designers who are trying to bring the polished, stick-up-your-arse look back - no thanks!

Some inspiration - finds from blonde la, etsy, neiman marcus, net-a-porter, shopjake, sockdreams, zoe boutique

disheveled reality...

My love of fashion is split into two distinct parts. There's a shiny fantasy component that comes out of too much time spent window-shopping online, arranging outfits that work together and compiling looks from runway shows. Sometimes these compilations have stuff that is actually within my budget- but even when that does happen there seems to be a visible barrier and it is difficult to contemplate buying any of it. Almost like the graphical image is complete on its own and separate from the way the actual pieces of fabric would look on a human body. Then there's the reality - cramped college dorm room closet with stuff falling off the hangers and stuffed on the floor. I have a few nice outfits which get recycled fairly often and are starting to feel a bit stale. The enormous variety of thrift and vintage stores nearby are ideal for browsing, but sometimes it doesn't go beyond that. The most common scenario is that I buy something unique that I like but it ends up only worn rarely. In my day-to-day life, all my fashion choices seem safe and monochrome, and sometimes a bit sloppy. It's so much easier just to throw on the same safe predictable choices, and this monotony even stretches to buying things, where I shy away from something too new or too different. I think something about the graphical arrangement appeals to me, with the clothing pieces as commodities, something I can classify and match and explore, that's not necessarily connected to who I am but perhaps who I want to be. This blog is dedicated to finding out how to bridge these disparate elements or at least reconciling them with each other.